How To Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Control

Written By Jinu Niki, LMFT

There has been a lot of emphasis on changing the way you think to change the way you feel. I know this well because it's what I used to discuss as a psychotherapist. But the concept that altering your cognition can consistently lead to feeling better about yourself isn't for everyone.

While it works at times, it isn't foolproof, is it? If stopping overthinking, worrying, or self-critical thoughts were easy, you wouldn't find yourself calling a friend, reading positive affirmations, or staying up late trying to feel better. The good news is, you don’t have to force positive thoughts to feel better.

When you're in an anxious, worried, panicked state, your thinking abilities shut down because your brain and body are wired for survival, to protect you at all costs when. you are under “threat” or “danger.” The issue is that your body and brain might think you are in danger, when in fact you are not.

Instead of trying to think your way out of your worries, focus on changing your body’s physiological state. This BOTTOM-UP approach (starting with the body then moving to your thoughts) often proves more effective for many of my clients when traditional thought-stopping techniques fall short.

When your body disengages from the fight or flight response and you are able to be more calm, you activate the forebrain or prefrontal cortex, which helps enhance your thinking and reasoning skills. Now, your body and brain are better equipped to think through the problem.

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Ready to take the next step towards healing and growth? Book a consultation with me today and discover how personalized therapy can support you on your journey to emotional well-being.

Jinu Niki, LMFT

Jin is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years of experience helping high-achieving individuals navigate anxiety, perfectionism, life transitions, and the lasting effects of familial trauma. She is passionate about creating a supportive, collaborative space where clients can gain insight, build resilience, and experience meaningful change.

As a Clinical Fellow and Approved Supervisor with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), Jin is dedicated to mentoring and supporting the next generation of therapists. She is also a Certified EMDR Therapist, bringing specialized expertise in trauma-informed care and helping clients heal from experiences that continue to impact their relationships, self-worth, and daily lives.

Outside of her professional work, Jin is an avid traveler and food enthusiast who enjoys exploring new cultures, connecting with people from diverse backgrounds, and trying new restaurants and local cuisines wherever she goes. Jin believes that healing happens when people no longer feel driven by the need to prove their worth and can finally experience the freedom, confidence, and contentment that come from knowing they are enough.

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